I tried hard to ignore Kentucky Fried Cruelty’s Double Down sandwich. It uses fried chicken in place of bread, a clever reminder that in our food system, chicken is as cheap and expendible as wheat. It just so happens chickens are afforded zero protection by the Humane Slaughter Act; so from an animal welfare standpoint, you’re better off eating beef than poultry.
Evidently, “more” is the new “enough”: Karl’s is now testing foot-long cheeseburgers. Of course, fast food chains use factory farmed meat; their price points demand it. But super-size items like these add another sad layer to the story: serving meat in these portions guarantees waste. Actually, I don’t know what’s worse, consuming such behemoths or throwing half away. But if I’m going to eat an animal, even a well-raised and slaughtered one, the least I can do is eat my entire purchase. Failure to do so is a double insult to the animal that gave its life to satisfy my desire for a particular type of protein.
My 18-year-old nephew recently told me about what the kids are doing these days: The McGang Bang. I’m serious. Off the McDonald’s Dollar Menu, you order one double cheeseburger and one Spicy McChicken sandwich. Then, with the help of your resourceful peers, you split the double cheeseburger between the two patties and stick the entire Spicy McChicken sandwich inside the double cheeseburger. Well, maybe if the group shares it, less will go to waste.
It’s all starting to feel like that brilliant Saturday Night Live parody of Taco Bell, except, of course, it’s real.